恵真 (aidenrose) wrote in interrobangfics,

The Chronicles of Jaechul, Part Four

Title: The Chronicles of Jaechul
Part: Four (Chapters 31-40)
Previous parts: Part one, Part two, Part three
Total length: Long. =P
Rating: PG-13 (sex changes, pregnancy, minor violence, and general stupidity. Contains a lot of jokes meant to be read and appreciated by true fans of SM Town.)
Disclaimer: This is in no way meant to be offensive. It is intended to be taken as humor.
Genre: Crack fan fiction. A.K.A, ridiculous parody-like nonsense. Humor.
Pairing: Jaejoong x Heechul
Synopsis: In order to get revenge against Lee Soo Man pushing him down a flght of stairs, Heechul gets the sex change he's always craved. Later he meets Jaejoong and it's love at first sight. This fic is about their daughter, Jaechul. Sort of.

Credit goes to tvxqsocks for being a se7enly se7en idea bouncer. =D

Chapter Thirty-one:

“Listen, Jaejoong…” Changmin and Yoochun said in unison.
“Why’d you guys get rid of them?!”

“There’s something you should kno-”
“I’m the best looki-”
“Just listen for a sec, Ja-”
“What the hell you guys, don’t be jealous like that and get rid of them once I’m gone!”
Changmin smacked him on top of his head.
Jaejoong gasped. “How dare you hit me?!”
“Listen to us, Jaejoong-hyung, please,” pleaded Changmin.
Jaejoong pouted. “Whatever,” he said, “I’m listening.”
“Yunho took them.”

Chapter Thirty-two:

“I think Yunho was really in love with you, Jaejoong,” Changmin said, threading his masculine fingers of lady-killing through Yoochun’s.

Jaejoong blinked.

“He took your photographs and hid them in his room. He almost never comes out and he’s always on his computer-”
“-he’s reading fan fiction-” snickered Yoochun.
“-I think he’s crying a lot. It’s like he’s…”  Changmin stopped, exchanging a glance with Yoochun.
“...I think he’s mourning you, dude.”
“I’m not dead!”
“Well, yeah, but you’re married, dude. To a-”
“Shushshushshush!” Yoochun placed a finger over Changmin’s perfect lips of masculine beauty. Yoochun looked at Jaejoong. “To a beautiful young woman,” he finished, smiling coyly at him.
“So...Oooohhhhhhh…You mean Yunho’s gay!” Jaejoong said, clapping his hands together at the peak of his comprehension.
They smiled and nodded in unison.
“So….what do I do?”

Chapter Thirty-three:

They shrugged.
“Divorce Chula and swear your eternal affection to Yunho.”
“Hell no!” Jaejoong said, curling his lip in disgust.
“How’s your relationship with Chula?”

“Lavulavu desu!”
Yoochun and Changmin winced.
“She’s pregnant, you know?! I can’t leave her for anyone, let alone Gheiho.”
“There’s really no other way to make him happy,” Changmin said, casually slinging his leg over Yoochun’s.
“He’s betrayed,” Yoochun said.
“If he kills himself, you’ll feel pretty bad about it, you know?”
Jaejoong’s jaw dropped.
“He’s suicidal?”

They exchanged a glance and then nodded.
“Oh my god...Yunho…”

Chpater Thirty-four:

Super Junior came tumbling out of their dorm and smothered Heechul with hugs and kisses. Roses showered upon them, and their tears turned into diamonds in this momentous moment.
“My friends!” Heechul cried, trying to hug as many of Super Junior as he could in one armful.
“You’re even prettier, hyung!”

“We missed you!”
Heechul sniffed. “You all liked me that much?”
“We love you!” Super Junior gasped as one unit. Like bees, they followed the same directive. Swarm.

“Heebum! I must see my Heebum!”
Super Junior pulled him into their lair.

Chapter Thirty-five:

Jaejoong’s cell phone rang once. Twice. Three times. Pick up, Se7en! Four times. Five times. Six times. Sheesh. Seven times.

“Something terrible has happened, Se7en!”
“Give it to me, Jaester. Let it all out,” he replied, his voice silky smooth, like a seven-layer chocolate mousse.
“Well first of all, swine flu!”
“Swine flew?! How many?”


“Was it seven?”

“What are you ta-...anyway, and so I’m hanging out with my band mates at their place-”

“Is Xiah there?”
“Uh...no,” he put the phone down. “Hey guys, where is Junsu?”
“Seaworld,” Yoochun answered, sniggering.

Chapter Thirty-six:

“Hold up here...you just now figured out that Yunho is gay?”
“What? Well...yeah…”
“You’ve been playing house with him for years.”

“You never noticed that he looks at you like you’re made of sugar, spice, and everything nice?”
“Wha..you mean….you knew?”
“I know everything, yo. I got seven eeeeeyes and seven eeeeears and seven spieeees.”
“Anyway, Se7en. What do I do?”
“First of all, you should apologize to Yunho for leading him on and telling him about your wedding by sending him a save-the-date card.”
“Also, your wife is Yunho’s friend, right? They need to work this out.”

Chapter Thirty-seven:

“Aha, whoopsie, Se7en made a booboo.”
“My wife knows Yunho?”
“You know how words get twisted around in this one’s mouth, right? I’m thinking about seven things at once.”
“Oh okay.”
“I meant that your wife can be friends with Yunho, and that they need to work it out and be friends, so Yunho can heal.”
“I guess they can have lunch together sometime…”
“Mhmm, mhmm.”
“Thanks, Se7en! I love you!”
“Se7en loves you seven times over, yo. Remember that, Jaester.”
Jaejoong hung up and looked at Changmin and Yoochun. What he saw sent such chills through him that he blacked out for a second. Changmin was eating Yoochun’s face! And Yoochun was wrapping his arms around Changmin.

“Gu...Gu...Ga...Ga….GAAAAYYY!!!” he screamed, leaping out of the nearest window.

Chapter Thirty-eight:

All thirteen reunited members of Super Junior stood in what used to be Heechul’s room.
Heechul slowly approached Heebum as the other twelve stood biting their nails and watching apprehensively.
If looks could kill, Heechul would be dead. Heebum was fixing him with two laser beams of transsexual death as Heechul made attempts to soothe him.
“Heebummie, I’m so sorry I was gone so long…” he crooned, inching forward.
Heebum hissed.
Heechul’s eyes began to water. He’d hurt Heebummie this much?

Heebum skirted off of the bed and dashed out of the room.
“Heechulie…” Eeteuk said, wiping his eyes, “that was so sad.”
“C’mon out and eat some cake, Heechulie…” Sungmin hooked arms with Heechul and led him into the main area of the dorm.
Heechul wept quietly as Shisus stroked his head and the other members took turns feeding him cake.

Chapter Thirty-nine:

After being revitalized by Sungmin’s cake, they decided to play Pictionary.
In the midst of their very loud and energetic game, Shisus’s cellphone rang. He excused himself with a flamboyantly flamboyant hand gesture and answered it.
“God loves whoever this is,”
The Shibrows flew up.

“Hey Shisus.”

“You sound distressed, my brother.”
“Yeah" he said. "You don't, what up?
“The most happiest happy thing ever! Heenim has been returned to us and we’re playing Pictionary!”

“What, really? Heechul’s not dead? That’s great!”
There was a long pause.
“Indeed, indeed!” Shisus coughed, “very joyous indeed.”
“You should put him on, I haven’t talked to him in awhile.”
Another pause.
“Ah...Perhaps another time, he’s busy right now…”
“Oh, okay. Well, anyway…can I confess?”

Chapter Forty:

“You have sinned, my brother. More than you know,” Shisus said.
“Yeah, I know. I feel really bad about it, but...I mean...Jaeho pulled in so much revenue…”

“In retrospect, would you choose money or friendship?”

“Awh, Shisus, don’t ask me that...friendship, I guess...maybe…”
“Don’t you care for Yunho?”

“Of course I do but...honestly, it kinda freaks me out, too...You remember Dangerous Love?”
“Mmmmmmmm,” Shisus closed his eyes. What a beautiful work of art that was.
“I thought it was all just pretend, but maybe...maybe that was real for Yunho!”
“If Heenim likes you, it’s no surprise to me that Yunho does.”

“Heechul likes me?! What’s with this!?”
“Aren’t you flattered?”
“I would be if they were girls!”
“Well…” Shisus coughed.

[Next part] Heebum is rly not a cat, guise.


Tags: Character: Se7en likes dem girls‽, Character: Shisus loves you‽, Character: Yunho the Gheiho‽, Length: multiple chapter‽, genre: crack is crack‽, genre: fluff is fluffy‽, omg pairing‽: Changmin/Yoochun, omg pairing‽: Jaejoong/Heechul, what's a rating‽: PG-13
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