恵真 (aidenrose) wrote in interrobangfics,
恵真
aidenrose
interrobangfics

The Chronicles of Jaechul, Part Three

Title: The Chronicles of Jaechul
Part: Three (Chapters 21-30)
Previous parts: Part one, Part two
Total length: Long. =P
Rating: PG-13 (sex changes, pregnancy, minor violence, and general stupidity. Contains a lot of jokes meant to be read and appreciated by true fans of SM Town.)
Disclaimer: This is in no way meant to be offensive. Intended to be taken as 100% humor.
Genre: Crack fan fiction. A.K.A, ridiculous parody-like nonsense. Humor.
Pairing: Jaejoong x Heechul
Synopsis: In order to get revenge against Lee Soo Man pushing him down a flght of stairs, Heechul gets the sex change he's always craved. Later he meets Jaejoong and it's love at first sight. This fic is about their daughter, Jaechul. Sort of.

Credit goes to tvxqsocks for helping me to write this part. She is an epicly epic idea bouncer, and as always, this was born out of our crazy MSN conversations. I wrote this, but she is responsible for a lot of the ideas this time. XD

About the frequency of posting:
 This is a weekly fan fiction with some exceptions. It will only be posted on days that are multiples of...SE7EN!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *w*

Chapter Twenty-one:

Heechul sat on the bed, his laptop on his lap, clicking through webpages in a trance. The internet was sucking him into its gentle embrace of social death.
“Chula, baby, come on out! The water’s fiiiinnnne!”
“Be there in a second, my lollipop!” Heechul shouted, glancing briefly at his new bikini lying on the bed in front of him. It was hot pink and sparkly.
“What are you still doing on that computer?”
“Noooooothing, honeybear! I’ll be there in a sec!”
Heechul started to close his different tabs, throwing a glance at Jaejoong floating in the crystal clear water of the beach outside their suite.
“I feel like you’re cheating on me with your laptop! You spend more time with it than with me!”
“Jaejae!” Heechul closed the laptop, “you know there’s only you!”
He quickly undressed and put on his bikini. He paused to admire his perfect feminine figure before skipping outside to join Jaejoong.

Chapter Twenty-Two:

“Omo, I think I shall really miss Palau,” Heechul said, pursing his lips.
“You look so nice with a tan, Chula,” Jaejoong crooned.

“Oh, no, you look better with one!” Heechul giggled.
“Noooo, you do!” Jaejoong said, twirling one of Heechul’s locks of hair around his finger.
A passenger behind them threw up. They were currently on a plane taking them back to Korea.
“How come you’re so beautiful, Chula?” Jaejoong murmured, stroking Heechul’s soft jawline.
“It’s because I was made to match you!” he said, kissing Jaejoong’s fingers. Plastic surgery is fabulous, Heechul thought, inwardly smiling.
Aishiterusaranghaeiloveyouwooaini!” Jaejoong blurted out.
Somewhere in Korea, Se7en snapped his fingers.

Chapter Twenty-three:

Jaejoong froze mid-step inside of their foray. Heechul skirted around him and hung his purse up.
“Jaejae?” he said, looking at Jaejoong with an innocently innocent expression, “What’s wrong?”

He pointed at their living room. Inside it was box after box stacked in rows.
“What the hell is all of that?”
Heechul followed his finger to the boxes.
“Oh!” he laughed, “that’s um...just some stuff I ordered.”
“Oh,” he said, moving forward to get a better look at them, “what stuff?”
“You know...stuff…”
“Like draperies?”
“Not quite…”
“Can I open them?” he said, excitement gleaming in his eyes.

“Um…,” Heechul swayed, hesitating...well, no way out…”go ahead.”

Chapter Twenty-Four:

Jaejoong held the flap of one of the boxes back, staring stiffly down into the contents.
Heechul chewed his lip. He moved to another one and looked in, his every movement tense.
“Chula,”
Heechul cleared his throat. “Yes?”
He looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Super Junior?!” he whispered.
All of the boxes were filled with sundry Super Junior merchandise, bought off of eBay. Cutesy thank you notes and stickers covered the packages, wrapped by ELFs, meant to be received by ELFs. Everything was in these boxes: t-shirts from concert tours long past, socks, stickers, posters, CDs, DVDs, photobooks, blankets, sheet sets, pillows, jewelry, even miniature figurines and cell phone straps.
“I-”
♫SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY,
NAEGA NAEGA NAEGA MEONJEO,
NEGE NEGE NEGE PPAJYEO,
PPAJYEO PPAJYEO BEORYEO BABY,
SHAWTY SHAWTY-
Heechul turned off his phone and looked apprehensively at Jaejoong, who stood with his mouth open, a look of baffled horror on his face.
“J...J…JAEJOONG SHOCK!!!”

Chapter Twenty-Six:

“WHAT THE HELL, CHULA?! WHY SUPER JUNIOR?!”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN,’WHY SUPER JUNIOR’?!”
“YOU’RE MARRIED TO ME! I’M TVXQ’S SHINING LIGHT!”

“SO?!”
“SO...SO...DON’T BE THINKING ABOUT SUPER JUNIOR!”
“WHY? CAUSE YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN THEM? HUH? HUH?”
“THEY’RE SO GAY!"
“Are you...are you BLIND?!”
“NO!” Jaejoong stomped his foot, his chest heaving. “Nnh” he bit his lip.
Heechul ran his fingers through his beautiful plastic hair.
Jaejoong collapsed and started sobbing. He looked up at Heechul.
“Why are you like this?” he sniffled.
“Jaejae…” Heechul flew to his side, “you know there’s only you.”
“B-but you bought all of this Super Junior s-stuff...don’t you...don’t you love TVXQ?”
“Of course I do, Jaejae,” he said, hugging him.

“R-really?”

“Absolutely.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven:


“Just put this stuff away, okay?” Jaejoong said, wiping his tears away with a TVXQ handkerchief.
“...sure thing, Jaejae...” Heechul sighed.
And so, all of the Super Junior merchandise was put into Jaejoong’s closet. Heechul watched as Jaejoong moved the boxes in for him. Since he was pregnant, he couldn’t possibly do heavy lifting.
“That’s another thing,” Jaejoong panted as he passed by Heechul’s perch on the love seat.
“Mm?”
“Your cell phone!” he whined.
Heechul frowned, resembling a grumpy cat. A grumpy Heebum. How was Heebum doing, anyway…? He should really visit him soon.
“What about it?”
“What do you mean? It’s playing that new hit by Super Junior!”
“Fine...I’ll change it in a little, okay?” Heechul sniffed.
“Thank you, snookie wookum bunny wunny pie!”

Chapter Twenty-Eight:



Heechul hummed as he dusted their beautiful and expansive apartment. How nice it was to play the role of a housewife. There was but one problem with his new domestic life - Jaejoong hated Super Junior. And about that, something would be done.
He giggled as he displaced dust particles into the filtered air of the apartment.
“Achoo!”
“Jaejae!” gasped Heechul, his hands flying to his mouth in horror.

“Wha..?”
“SWINE FLUUUUUUUUUU!!!” he screeched.
Jaejoong screamed. Heechul ran to the kitchen and grabbed a mask out of their medicine cabinet.
“Quick! Put this on!!” Heechul shouted, panic making his voice even higher.
Jaejoong lunged for the mask, and his fingers brushed Heechul’s.
“EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!! OH MY GOD!!!” Heechul ran to the sink and feverishly washed his hands.
“CHULA!! FORGIVE ME!!” Jaejoong shouted as he pulled the mask over his head.

Chapter Twenty-Nine:

Changmin opened the door to TVXQ’s apartment. “Jaejoong-hyung?” he said, his adorable little squirrel eyes opening inquisitively.
Changmin looked at the mask covering his nose and mouth.
“My god, hyung, are you sick?!”
Jaejoong sneezed.
Changmin gasped, grabbing Jaejoong’s arm and hauling him inside with his newly grown muscles of manhood.
“Gosh, Changmin, you’re pretty b!” Jaejoong wondered aloud as Changmin carried his suitcase inside.
“So what happened, hyung?” said Changmin, calling over his shoulder “Chunnie!!! Jaejoong-hyung is here!”
“OH!”
Yoochun came twirling out of one of the bedrooms.

Chapter Thirty:

A unified gasp came from Yoochun and Changmin as Jaejoong told them his tale of sorrowful pestilence.
Jaejoong looked at them apologetically. “So basically, I have to freeload off of you guys because if Chula gets sick, it might be bad for our baby.”
“No worries, Jaejoong-hyung. We have you covered!” Changmin said, slapping his own chest. What was with all of the manly gestures?
“Thanks, man.”
Jaejoong looked around the dorm from his position on their couch.
“Something’s different…” he said softly.
“Ah, um...Say, Jaejoong, why don’t we play a game of parcheesi?” Yoochun said, shifting uncomfortably.
No. Something was wrong. Jaejooong narrowed his eyes. And then it occurred to him.
“Hey! Where are all the photographs of me?!”


[Next part] Iz dat yoo, Se7en? :D

Tags: Character: Se7en likes dem girls‽, Length: multiple chapter‽, genre: crack is crack‽, genre: fluff is fluffy‽, omg pairing‽: Jaejoong/Heechul, what's a rating‽: PG-13
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